Gay Family Options .org   

Known Sperm Donor or Active Co-parent

Hello, I am a 43 year old healthy, athletic, stable, good hearted and successful professional gay black male who would like to share the opportunity to have a family as a co-parent or provide sperm as a known donor with other like minded and loving people.

I grew up drug free and in an upper middle class neighborhood in Northern California and continue to live as such today. I am height/weight proportionate and am blessed with my parent's youthful good looks. I have never broken a bone, never had a cavity or braces. My health is important to me; I practice safe sex and am STD-Free. I research and blog on health matters, nutrition, anti-aging and longevity because I plan to be here and in good health for many years to come.

I am well travelled, usually visiting Europe more than twice a year for business and pleasure. I love science fiction, drawing, friends and family.

I have always dreamed of being a father and as I gracefully grow older, would like to also share in giving that opportunity to others. I am selective and would like to find others without any genetic disorders. I would like to make sure that the recipient of my sperm can financially and emotionally support a child in a healthy environment. Please be in good health, stable and especially be willing to share your emotional background. I am quite known for having a big heart and would love the experience of being a father or donor uncle. Please contact me at pcpers@yahoo.com.

Stats: 43Yr, 5'11", 189lbs, 32w, Athletic Build, Profession: Global IT Manager

[Posted on 23 April 2008]

Queer Sperm Donor Sought by Lesbian Couple

Lesbian couple trying to find Gay, Bisexual, or Trans donor to donate sperm for upcoming IVF treatment.

We are seeking someone tall, queer, fair complexion, and darker hair. Must be willing to sign over all parental rights and act as donor not 'father.'

We are a bi-racial lesbian couple, vegetarian, queer activists, who desperately want to start our family. A queer donor is most important to us because it is an important part of our own identities. We are American and experienced our childhoods on both coasts of the U.S. (Miami area and San Francisco area) and have moved to the Netherlands to pursue graduate school opportunities. We are strong believers in Queer community and we hope to find a donor who is also invested in community building in their own networks.

You should know that we will not terminate any resulting pregnancies, allow any genital surgeries (Intersex or circumcision) and will allow our children to dictate their gender identity and expression in whatever way feels most comfortable to them.

Your current location may not be an issue for us. We may be able to come to you, or arrange sperm to be shipped or you might be located in near one of the IVF centers that we have been in contact with. If it sounds like we are a good match, please e-mail us at lesbiansseekingdonor@gmail.com.

[Posted on 13 April 2008]

Co-Parent/Uncle Dad/Known Sperm Donor with Benefits City: San Francisco I'd like to develop a co-parent/Uncle Dad/known sperm donor with benefits (no, not THOSE kinds of benefits) arrangement with a thoughtful, health-conscious, well-educated Bay Area lesbian. My goal is to make positive contributions to the children's lives without being intrusive, which, as I see it, would negate any possible good that might come from my ongoing involvement. Reasons why you might want to pick me: easy to get along with (ask anyone who knows me) healthy (recently rode my mountain bike over 3000 miles) wealthy (we hedge fund managers do all right, as do our heirs) well-educated (graduate degree from a well-known eastern business school) good role model (awesome credit score, generous contributor to worthy causes, no criminal record, and don't smoke or do drugs, though I do have a drink or two now and then) don't mind babysitting (probably should have put this higher on the list)

Other things (not necessarily good or bad) that may be of interest:

• Caucasian, greying blond hair (but lots of it), blue eyes, 5'9", 53 years old, straight, divorced, no children
• Raised Catholic - now try to live by Christ's teachings, but don't attend church anymore (too much hypocrisy in organized religion for my tastes) - am also strongly influenced by Buddhism
• Triple Nine Society member (not sure if this means I have something worth having or if I could pass it on if I did, but some people seem to think so, so I'll put it out there)

If you think I might be the right donor for you, please email me at LookN4Momma@aol.com for pictures and other information. Please be aware, though, that I am going to be very careful about making this commitment. I must be able to completely trust you to raise children in a way consistent with my values - because I realize it will be utterly futile to attempt to change your parenting style later on.

[posted on 9 March 2008]

Bay Area KNOWN Donor. Bi-Racial, Euro/Afri. Open to Travel and or Local. Also Open to Uncle Relationship.

Hi. I would like to be a known donor. I have recent std test results and have healthy family background. It would be nice to be able to donate to a woman/women that desire a donor that has an African American background whether you be Caucasian, African-American, mixed race, Asian. I have come to see that there are so few men of African decent that are willing and able to be donors.

I am an athletic and healthy compassionate person. I hope that I can help you fulfill your need to become a mother. If you're interested we can talk about the possibilities by email and or phone. I have pictures and test results I can send you.

I think that donating can enrich my life and that of others.

Please take time to talk with your partner about having a baby with a known donor before contacting me. Also it's always a good idea to really think about if you're really ready to move forward with a known donor before you contact me. I'm very serious about being a donor and have thought about what it takes to be a donor. Doing some research about fertility and tracking your ovulation before hand can make all the difference. Peace and health.

fusion373@hotmail.com

[Updated on 26 February 2008]

Stable Male Couple Wants Children

We are a stable male couple that's been together for 25 years and are ready to embark on the most wonderful adventure of our lives. We're both in our mid-40s, both 6'2", 195 lbs, healthy, attractive, highly educated, one American and one Cuban. And we're good and very decent people. We're professional writers, with plenty of love and nurturing to give (just ask our four dogs!).

We are looking for one or more women willing and able to make our dream of having two children come true; ideally we are looking to have all rights to our children, but are willing to discuss other options such as co-parenting. If you think you might be the one, email us at dadandpapi@hotmail.com with your own background information and let's discuss.

[Posted on 14 February 2008]

Prof Gay Male Looking for a Woman to Donate 9 Months

Hi, I'm a 41 year old gay male who has always wanted a child but could not produce one on my own. I am hoping to find a woman who would be willing to help me out. I have a great career and at this point in my life, I feel I would make an excellent parent.

The one point that I think is extremely important is that I WANT a child, how many children are brought into this world to parents that do not really want them.

Should you feel that you could help me out, please please contact me at DThorpe810@aol.com. I would be so glad to hear from you.

Thanks

[Posted on 9 February 2008]

Great Guy-Next-Door Looking to Donate to Lesbian Couple

Hi Ladies-

I am looking for a stable lesbian couple to donate to. I am a gay-guy who grew up in a rural area back East. I come from a family with good morals and values and keep those today. I have never used a drug or smoked and am d/d free. I am 6'0, 185, white, healthy, great smile, fun, and think my genes would be great! ha Not looking for financial responsibility and co-parenting could be discussed. Open to all suggestions. Please write me at jaxkarle@aol.com and tell me a bit about yourself. I am just a normal, handsome guy who would like to help out!

Thanks,
Paul

[Posted on 19 January 2008]

Wonderful Loving Female Couple Wanting to Co-Parent with a Great Guy / Male Couple

Hi,

We've been together for over 5 years now. We're both straight acting, feminine, professional, loving, fun, good lifestyle, widely travelled, love life, great friends and family etc etc and now feel the time is right to start a family. I'm 42, my partner is 36.

We're looking for a great guy or perhaps male couple - similar to ourselves - ideally a truly caring, fun, sorted professional person. Our ideal would be for the father to be involved, but we are open to suggestions. We do not mind whether the father is gay or straight, but we are not looking for someone who is a serial sperm donor (no disrespect to those who have donated to many - you're fab), but we want this child (children) to ideally be your only child(ren). Overseas potential fathers also considered, assuming you are free to travel frequently.

Do you fit the bill, or know someone who does?

Please e-mail us at 4wonderland@googlemail.com with a bit about yourself, and perhaps a photo if you feel comfortable doing so. Please note that any correspondence is in total confidence. Look forward to hearing from you.

[Posted on 10 January 2008]

6'4" Slender, Intelligent Known Donor

I'm interested in helping couples with conception. I am physically fit, blue eyes and dark hair, recently HIV tested, and highly educated with a post graduate degree. I have photos from all stages of my life as well.

Please contact me at wsnnhung@excite.com if you're interested.

[Posted on 8 January 2008]

Lesbian Couple Looking for Donor City: Fairfield Lesbian couple looking for a donor with excellent genetic makeup. Must be over 6 feet, nice looking, physically fit, no mental illness or diseases in family. Must have had HIV test within last 6 months with proof of negative results. Have no STD of any kind, CMV negative. Must have had great scores/grades in school. You have to be willing to sign parental rights waiver. We already have 2 beautiful boys and are looking to conceive a girl, hopefully. Serious inquires only. Syringe/cup only... Thanks guys domfemale14@hotmail.com [Posted on 24 October 2007]

Looking for Co-Parenting Situation or Loving Woman to have a Child for me

Hello ! I am an 42 year old African American gay man . I have always wanted children. It's just been one of those things that seemed out of reach for some reason or another. However, at this time I am not in a relationship. I am a very happy person with a full life. So I don't feel the need to wait any longer.

I enjoy traveling, and take pride in my care for family and friends. I have been in a few close situations (where I thought I had found a match) since starting this journey to find a mother. I am looking for someone who is very responsible, nurturing, with a positive outlook on life. I know that parenting is very challenging and rewarding at the same time. You must be ready to give of your time, but be balanced enough to know how to care for yourself and a child. I am willing to give up the extras and stretch my limits to raise my child.

I come from a large family, so we already have many grandchildren. But I just want a child of my own. This is a big life change and I am ready to take it on. I really want to be a father. Do you want to be a Mother? Lets connect and see what happens. I already have my sperm at a bank and I can pass all the usual test. I am very hard working, generous, and humorous. I have a great appreciation for my own mother. I learned to have a open mind and heart from her.

I can be reached at PARENT-2-PARENT@HOTMAIL.COM

[Posted on 16 October 2007]

*****FREE DONATION **** Super Potent Sperm Donor

I only do fresh donations, I do not ship. I am a discrete donor. I have a Masters Degree in Aerospace engineering and an MBA. I have brown/hazel eyes, black hair, am 6' tall and weigh 170 lbs. I am disease, drug and alcohol free. I do not smoke and am HIV and STD free (Can provide blood report). I am very healthy, handsome, intelligent, 34 years old with proven, high quality potent sperm. Several successful pregnancies. Email at norrisjohn10@yahoo.com.

[Updated on 27 August 2007]

Metro Sexual, Mid 40s, Looking to be a Close Uncle.

Tall, attractive and athletic; and celibate STD free male looking to be a close uncle to a straight or gay woman between the ages of 21 and 36. I respectfully request that there be no serious weight issues or genetic diseases that can be passed to offspring. I am a kind, caring individual and hope you are the same. I will gladly send a photograph (a realistic recent one) if requested and hope to receive the same from you. I must also request the desire is to get pregnant relatively soon. More information will be divulged if requested. Please send requests to .. tomt42002@yahoo.com.

[Posted on 14 July 2007]

Friendly Gay Man seeking a Female for Co-parenting

I am a 28 years old white very social/friendly lawyer. I work between Los Angeles (where I was raised) and New York. I am looking to co-parent one or more children with a female/ lesbian couple.

I have a stable income from which I can support a co-parenting arrangement financially as well as emotionally. I have a certified high IQ and pretty much a social butterfly here.

I am 6'2", light complexion, dark hair, hazel eyes, (told to be very attractive, please feel free to ask for a picture). I am seeking a friendly female/couple who wants to have her own biological children while keeping the other biological parent involved. I welcome all kinds of ideas and creative solutions.

Luxe78LA@aol.com

[Posted on 20 June 2007]

Single Straight Scientist / Engineer Wishes to be Known Donor

I am now 51, and I am not into marrying a women 10 - 15 years younger than me. My past relationships have not worked out in time to have a child of my own in a traditional family setting. (I am dating a wonderful woman now). But I want to be a father very much, and always have. To be brief, I am a very intelligent, highly educated aerospace scientist/engineer, in excellent health, with no family genetics problems. I believe I am not bad looking (Women seem to be physically attracted to me), and am quite fit (Skiing, weight training, mountaineering, karate, biking, hiking,,,)I am pretty well off, and I would want to contribute to my child's future financially and hopefully spend as much time with him/her as possible. To be blunt I am looking for an intelligent woman to make a baby with. Whatever your relationship situation, as long as you are well meaning and loving and want to raise a child.

Please email me at lagrizzly46@aol.com. If you are interested I will send a photo. All would be above board and legal of course, with a mutually agreed to contract (just so you know I am not BS'ing here).

Thanks for considering me.

Peter

[Posted on 9 June 2007]

Progressive Straight Couple Looking to Co-parent

Unique Co-Parenting Opportunity

Inspired, progressive, innovative, healthy heterosexual couple seeks lesbian couple or single woman to conceive and raise a child together in the San Francisco Bay Area. We are energetic, mid-aged, professionals who want to share parenting responsibilities with (an) additional parent(s) so there is more parenting attention, child-free time, $, energy, etc. to go around. Shared values, creative collaboration, and the inclination to build and enjoy extended, alternative family relationships are essential.

If interested and for more information please contact: Jenifer Firestone at Alternative Family Matters (617) 576-6788 EST or jenifer@alternativefamilies.org

[Posted on 13 March 2007]

Hombre Hispano Quiere ser Padre

Hola:

Soy un gay de 33 años, 5'10", 175lbs, sano, nunca he usado drogas, de mentalidad abierta, estable y responsable.

Desde hace varios años es mi sueño convertirme en padre y ayudar a mi hijo o hijos en todo lo que pueda, si eres una lesbiana con buena salud y estas lista para ser Mama por favor contactame y hablemos del tema, espero escuchar pronto de ti, mi mail es bayarea-papi@hotmail.com.

[Posted on 12 March 2007]

Single Gay Asian Male Wants to be a Dad

I am looking for a female to have a child with. I am 36yo, 5'7", 157lbs, computer engineer with Master degree, healthy physically, mentally and financially. I work hard and work out regularly. I live in San Diego, CA. I like sports. Don’t drink, don't smoke, no drugs. Go to bars occasionally. Live alone and have a simple life.

Responsible, considerate, warm-hearted, caring, good personalities came from my harmonic family. I always considered myself as material of a good husband and father until I realized I am gay. Having a child was the obligation to my family. It became my own need with time passed by. I didn't know there are options for a gay male until recently I found this website.

Primarily, I am looking for a single female who has passion to have a child of her own, with me, a gay man. However, I am open to discuss all solutions from a sperm donor to a single parent if we share the same thoughts of being parents. I think that bringing a child to this world is not only for my own need even though I am willing to give my love to. It is the best for the child to have love from both parents. 50%-50% co-parenting is my primary goal. I could be just a sperm donor if you are financially independent. Or I could be a single father who needs an egg. Surrogate solutions will be my last choice. I prefer a female to be the similar size and age to me. Being healthy and having good personality is the key to the bright future for everyone involved. Race and sex orientation don't matter.

Being parents is at least a 20 year long term commitment among 3 persons. If you think it through, you are very welcome to contact me at mylifeisjourney@hotmail.com. Photos and more information can be provided upon request. The exchange of photo ID and health certificates is required eventually when an agreement can be reached and notarized, so decent and serious person only.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Bernard

[Posted on 18 February 2007]

Intended Moms Seek Traditional Surrogate

Happy Holidays!

Are you tired of the merry go round of the surrogacy community, think you have found your perfect couple then BAM! no more contact, the relationship gets distant?

Laura from Miami is looking for a SERIOUS Traditional Surrogate from a surro friendly state. She has already been on the merry-go-round long enough. A lot of broken promises and dreams. She is looking for a TS who is:

• between the ages of 23-35
• has had a birth within the last 2 years
• has health insurance to cover pregnancy and birth
• has STRONG family support
• Caucasian
• Is open to her and her partner being in the delivery room and attend appointments when available
• CA - FL are the best states
• Please send photo with location to: angelmatcher@bellsouth.net
• ready to start immediately upon contracts & testing
• IUI's only - no home inseminations

Are you this special angel? Contact me at 321-632-7286 7 days a week - 7am - 9pm or email me at angelmatcher@bellsouth.net to set up an appointment.

We look forward to hearing from you, lets make 2007 the year that this couple will be parents.

Warmest Regards and Baby Blessings.
Laura Fretwell

[Posted on 31 December 2006]

Single Woman in Sacramento, CA Seeks Known Sperm Donor

Hello,

I'm a tall, single, straight, Caucasian 32 year-old woman who hasn't yet found "the one." I'm interested in speaking with local men who would consider donating sperm with no further obligation or involvement in the resulting child's life and upbringing. I'm intelligent, educated, (master's degree), am a homeowner, and have a steady career which focuses on children. I'm highly independent and financially secure and would provide a loving, warm, and healthy environment for a child.

Although I prefer to raise my child without any financial support from you as the potential donor, I would expect that my child could contact you at age 18 and I would be more than happy to send pictures throughout the years. This is the minimum I can offer. Of course I am willing to discuss other options of involvement, like possible visits now and then, but would still want the final say in any such situation.

The qualities I'm looking for in a potential sperm donor are: at least 5'9", Caucasian or East-Indian, intelligent, preferably heterosexual, and a bachelors degree or higher education level. I have a picture to share and would expect to see a few of yours both as a child and adult. Please only respond if you live within 500 miles of Sacramento, CA as I plan to do AI using fresh sperm.

My email address is bassplayinlady@sbcglobal.net.

[Posted on 27 December 2006]

Looking for a Known Donor

City: Sacramento

I am a single, straight 32 year old woman planning to conceive in the near future and am seeking a suitable donor. I'm tall and attractive with light olive skin and dark features -- would prefer the same or similar, but an intelligent, stable person and a comfortable arrangement is more important in the long run.

I'm financially-independent and able to raise a child on my own. I own a new house in a kid-friendly neighborhood, a great job with excellent benefits, and supportive family and friends in the area. I am a physician (care for both adults and children) with many local friends in all medical specialties, most also parents.

I would like the donor to be involved in our lives to whatever degree we all felt comfortable with, and then of course allow himself to be available if the child had questions about his/her background in the future.

"Parenting philosophies" is a huge topic with millions of variables, but I can tell you this much for now:

• I'd prefer to conceive with as little medical intervention as possible, but will use frozen sperm for IUI if needed
• I plan to hire a professional doula to help optimize the birthing experience, especially if I cannot deliver with a midwife in the hospital setting (no home births for me!).
• I plan to breastfeed as much and as long as possible (preferably 6 months).
• I'm big into foreign languages, so I plan to teach/expose my kids to them early, especially French and Baby Sign Language. Living in California, I expect them to learn Spanish at some point as well, but this is easier to learn later. My only fluent language is English, but if the donor had another he wanted to expose the child too, that would be great.

Of course there's much more, so drop me a line at snagmd@hotmail.com and maybe we can have a 2-way conversation via telephone or IM messenger (I have yahoo and msn). Thanks for reading.

[Updated on 18 December 2006]

Stable GM Couple (12 years) Interested in Donating Sperm with No Strings Attached; Just Love

Two GM (Jim and Luis) interested in donating sperm to a single lesbian or lesbian couple. We strongly believe that for this to work, we have to be clear upfront that we have no rights whatsoever - if you want us to have any relationship at all with your children, we would have to earn it, and it would be entirely at your discretion.

We are both lawyers (we thought we would put the scary stuff first). Jim is a a law professor and Luis is an immigration lawyer. Luis is Puerto Rican and Jim is Jewish from Seattle, almost an oxymoron.

Florida is the only state to prevent ANY gay person from adopting, so we thought it would be nice to be part of parenting in this manner, even if it is a relatively small part of the process.

The best e-mail to reach us is at: wiletsj@nsu.law.nova.edu.

[Posted on 19 November 2006]

Sperm Donor: Older, Scientist, Successful Entrepreneur, Widower

Fresh or Frozen Certified Healthy Sperm; Free to Good Woman. A cryobank and a fertility clinic tested my semen; It is healthy and disease free. I am tall, blue-eyed, trim & fit, healthy, very intelligent, successful, a widower.

I will donate to a woman who is intelligent and professional, not over weight and ready to be a devoted mother. Involvement, if any, is up to you, but I would like to provide a college scholarship. If you live far from Austin, I can ship, at my expense, a fresh donation overnight, but I expect us to meet once in person first. Trade photos. (The posted photo is me at age 18.)

E-mail: topgenes@gmail.com

[Updated on 22 December 2007]

Looking to be an "Uncle Dad" - Known Donor

I am a warm and caring guy, who is great with kids. I have a B.A. in Child Development and have taught meditation to 3 - 5 year olds for the past 20 years. I used to do respite care with "special needs" kids, and have a reputation of being wonderful with infants (read: can get them to stop crying and go back to sleep!). I can offer references in that regard!!!

I am currently finishing a couple of graduate degrees in natural medicine and my life is busy but very rewarding. I currently support myself by dancing professionally ( see my website at http://www.prinzandrew.com ) and by doing healing work (therapeutic massage, homeopathy, Ayurvedic nutritional counseling, etc.).

My Past: I almost fathered a child with a lesbian couple I was friends with and I was very excited about the prospects. They were going to be the primary parents and I was going to be the uncle-dad. Sadly, they started having challenges in their relationship and we stopped the process.

I would love to befriend a caring lesbian couple (or possibly single) who want to be the primary parents of a child. I sincerely feel I would be an awesome uncle-dad (and what family doesn't need extra childcare?!).

I am 5'6" (closer to the earth) and around 138 lbs. with an athletic build (all that dancing!). I take very good care of my health (vegetarian). I am a longtime meditator, so, I'm a fairly happy-go-lucky guy. I am in my forties and am playful and energetic. I can usually wear kids down faster than they can wear me down! :o)

Feel free to contact me: drewlicious1@yahoo.com.

[Posted on 19 September 2006]

Still Seeking Potential Donors in Pasadena, California

We are seeking a potential sperm donor within the vicinity of Pasadena, California.

To share a little bit about us, we are professional and have dreams achieved all but one. We both came from large families and hope to have our widowed parents greet our new child before, god forbid, they pass on.

It probably doesn't matter if we are well off but if it matters at all to ease the minds of donors. We wish to find the best nationality of our bloodline is Italian and/ or English, Welsh, Danish, Greek, and/ or French.

We hope to have the right description of what is showing below.

• Height: 5'6 and up
• Weight: Proportioned to height ( good shape )
• Age: 21-38
• Hair: Brown or Black
• Eyes: two, just kidding, any color will do

Nationality- Italian, Greek, (Latin) French, English, Welsh, Danish (European). It can be combined as long as You look ravishingly Italian with dark features and strong jaws like our families.

Of course you must be in Good health, at best without any illness. Family history without illness would be a great blessing, that we would prefer.

Note: Very important that we do not wish to put a price on child's/children's head. Therefore no monies exchanged, please. We expect absolutely nothing from the donor. Clean break, no contact, no ties. As it will be documented, a contract will be drawn up promising of no responsibilites from you and ourselves bear no obligation to the donor.

Preferably artifically inseminated at home, if all else fails, other options of performance will be discussed. We wish to have the same donor to sire more if desired at a later date.

Last but not least, detailed self photo ( up close and personal ) from a baby photo to adult, parent photos would be an A+. Color photos please if available. Plus a clean bill of health certificate included please along with the first reply. If we dont get that on the first reply, we will not respond.

Serious Potential donors only. Please don't contact us by instant messaging, respond by e-mails only.

Contact us:

Thank you all for taking the time and helping those in need. Bless you.

Posted on 9 April 2006

Masculine Gay 30 Year Old Looking to Co-Parent with a Woman

Looking for a woman ages 26-34 to co-parent a child or two with. A lesbian or straight woman is ok but I want us both to be a part of the child's life for his or her entire life. I'm 30 years old, Caucasian, have brown hair and blue eyes and have a very good income. I'm open to different types of co-parenting arrangements. Prefer a single woman rather than a couple but open to a couple. I'm 5'6" so i don't want the potential mother to be taller than 5'8". I don't care whether the mother is Christian, Jewish, or not religious. I am willing to get to know the potential mother very well before deciding to go ahead with this and I want our relationship to be good. I would like to have a child within 3-4 years of this post.

Thanks!
Eric

[Posted on 22 March 2006]

Looking for a Few Small Miracles!

I am an attractive, healthy, intelligent, 32 year old teacher and graduate student. I am currently studying for a graduate degree in counseling in order to become a child and family therapist. I live in a fairly large house in a quiet, pretty, and safe neighborhood. I am ready in all aspects to start a family. I have been planning to start a family for years.

Initially, a close friend was going to be the donor for my child/ren. However, he has had some health problems recently and needed to focus on his own family and rebuilding his health. Because of my age and other practical considerations, this is the best time for me to start a family and I don't think it makes sense to wait much longer. Therefore, I am considering the other possible options... what I can most easily envision is:

(1) A donor situation where the donor is willing to be known and will be happy and satisfied with updates about the child and perhaps some limited contact throughout the years, depending on what is agreed upon initially. The specifics of the agreement would naturally depend on how comfortable I am with the donor and compatibility between us. I would not be open to any changes in the agreement whatsoever after the child is born.

(2) A mutual situation where I am a gestational surrogate for a male couple and they are donors for me. I have my own health insurance and no reason to believe I couldn't carry several children in a healthy, safe way. My family has tended to have several children.

I don't think that I would be a good, ongoing "co-parent" with someone that I don't already know very well, as I would probably not be very happy negotiating day-to-day decisions like school, schedules, rules, behavior, and spirituality. Therefore, it would definitely work best if the donor either did not want to be the "parent" but rather more of a role model or "uncle" to the child/ren OR was similar enough to myself in values/belief system to allow for an agreed upon level of contact with me as the primary parent, making all decisions for the child in every aspect, and definitely the child/ren living with me as the primary and only "residence".

I think one of the worst possible scenarios would be a legal custody battle that ends with the child "split in half" and going back and forth between parents like a ping pong ball. It would also be awful to be forced to allow visitation if there were some reason that it did not feel safe or in the child's best interest to me. And, quite simply put, it would be awful to have an agreement that feels comfortable and then find that later the other person is determined to violate it in ways that impact on raising the child/ren and the family structure. For these reasons, I would require the donor to relinquish his parental rights in order to be certain that the custody arrangements are not based on such awful scenarios.

I have watched friends of mine dealing with divorce where- in trying to be "fair" about custody- their children have been shared 50/50 and don't seem to ever know where "home" is. Also, as a teacher, I have several students who have no idea who is picking them up that day or where they will be sleeping that night. I simply can't view that as healthy and in the best interest of the children and it is just not what I want.

I can most easily imagine helping an older male couple who wants to have child/ren (option #2) or a donor (option #1) who simply wants to know that they helped to bring a child into the world and perhaps to know about them through updates and occasional visits throughout the years. I would not work with an anonymous donor who does not wish to have their identity known to the child as they grow up. I think it's important to be able to provide honest answers to questions a child may have about how they came to be in the world!

The surrogate option is probably best for those who really, most honestly, want to have constant, ongoing involvement with the child or to be the "equal custody" or primary parent. As a gestational surrogate, I would like to be known to the child as the person who carried them as an infant and I would involve the couple as much as possible in all aspects of the pregnancy, except of course the most physically private aspects! I think it's really important to have all the information through birth and that there really is bonding to be done during pregnancy- that you don't have to be the one carrying the child to be able to bond with them. (Research shows that fathers can bond with their child while the mother is pregnant.) So, I would want to facilitate that for everyone's best interest, especially the child's.

I would also like to have more than one child, preferably three. But, I realize that two is probably more realistic due to my age, especially if I am a surrogate. Another thing that is extremely important to me is that the person who donates for me is not endlessly providing his sperm to the world at random. I certainly understand that someone may start their own family in the future - or may even already have children - and I appreciate that I would benefit from their generosity. But, I am not comfortable with the idea that my child/ren would have endless, random siblings that they would never know about.

Therefore, if the donor is going to continue being a donor or already has a long history of fathering children, I would not be comfortable. If the donor has not already donated a multitude of times but plans to continue in the future, there could possibly be an agreement that all siblings could know about each other, including contact information for the future in case it is desired/necessary. I have adopted friends who wonder at times if the friend they really connect so much with is actually their sister or if the guy they are falling in love with is actually their brother, etc. Naturally, I would completely want to avoid those potential thoughts and scenarios... and, I think it's just realistic that other children would be biological, half-siblings whether or not they have ever had any contact.

On a superficial level, the characteristics that I prefer (not required-just preferred) are: blue/green/grey eyes, intelligent, average to above average height, well educated, spiritually aware, and relatively successful in life. I am also open to Indian ethnicity, though I am Caucasian. I have some relatives in Canada and I would, in several ways, prefer to conceive with those residing outside of the United States (preferably Canada or Europe), although that is not a "requirement".

If you feel that you can help me bring a much loved child (or two or three) into the world or that I might be a good choice for helping you, please respond to lists333@aol.com (preferably with photo) soon! Also - if you are still reading this, then I am still looking!

[Updated on 21 March 2006]

Hispanic Male Looking to Co-Parent

Hello,

I'm a single gay, 32 years old, 5'10", 175lbs, healthy, never have used drugs, open-minded and stable. It is my dream to become a dad and get involved raising my child(ren). If you share the same dream and are hispanic, under 32 years old, Catholic, healthy and ready to become a Mom, please contact me. Let's talk about the possibilities.

I hope to hear from you soon, hasta pronto! My e-mail is bayarea-papi@hotmail.com.

[Posted on 14 March 2006]

Lesbian Couple Looking for Gay Man/Couple to Co-Parent a Child-To-Be

We are a lesbian couple living in SF but soon to be moving to Marin. One of us has 2 children, ages 8 & 14 living with us who have a gay dad and that arrangement has worked out wonderfully.

We are looking for a man who wants to be a dad to the future child of the one of us that does not have a child yet (confused) and share parenting responsibilities. Looking for someone who is caring, living in the north Bay Area, financially independent, professional, intelligent and tall (the mom is 5'10").

Photo appreciated and we will send one back in return. jnrehr@aol.com.

[Posted on 8 February 2006]

Known Donor/Co-Parent of Color Wanted

Vegan, tomboyish bisexual woman, ethnically Jewish, spiritual not religious, politically left, down to earth and educated, seeking a responsible, progressive, communicative, healthy man of color, African-American, Latin/Caribbean or Arab/Middle Eastern, of any orientation, who wants to be a father. Looking for a good, solid, trustworthy man with whom I can build a warm connection. Gay couples welcome. Open to anything on the spectrum from known donor to co-parenting to romantic relationship. Must be supportive of child being raised vegetarian.

I lean towards Buddhism spiritually, am passionate about social justice and holistic health. Professionally, I'm the Operations Manager for a construction company. In the past, I've been a teacher, massage therapist, non-profit worker, health educator, and political activist. Born and raised in the Bronx, NY, grandchild of immigrants. Attended inner-city schools, influences were Puerto Rican and African-American. My circle has always been a rainbow.

Please contact me at coparentwanted@yahoo.com, with a photo and some info about yourself and how you envision parenting.

[Updated on 3 May 2007]

To Be A Father

I'm ready to devote myself to the most important step of my life: raising a child. And so I'm looking for a woman who is as excited as I am at the prospect of teaming up as co-parents to raise a wonderful daughter or son.

I Am:

A Marriage and Family Therapist-in-training, finishing my Master's degree in Counseling Psychology and currently interning at a public clinic in San Francisco. Formerly a database developer, until I felt the need to devote my working life to helping people-now with a rewarding, important career and respectable savings. A professional actor, appearing from time to time on local stages. 38 years old, 5'4", 120 lbs., slender, in good physical condition with a regular exercise regimen and healthy diet. Caucasian, of Eastern European Jewish heritage. Both left- and right-brained. Responsible, politically liberal, smart, verbal, literate. Capable, considerate, empathetic and giving. Flawless? Hardly. But in short-I feel-all the makings of a terrific father.

Co-Parenting:

I'm looking for a 50/50 arrangement, with joint physical and legal custody and more or less equal financial contributions to the raising of our child-understanding that for practical reasons, our child's residence in the first few years might not be entirely evenly divided. Essential, for me, is that my child's mother and I have a trusting, generous and warm relationship.

My Parenting Priorities:

Education, self-esteem, courage, joy, sense of responsibility, safety (emotional and physical). Encouraging and empowering my child to explore his/her own abilities and interests. Fostering my child's curiosity and positive sense of him-/herself.

You:

A bright, warm, capable, stable, generous, left-leaning woman with a Big Heart, of any race or sexual orientation.

My Life:

I am in a three-year-old, stable live-in relationship that is strong, loving and based on mutual respect, humor, trust and open communication. My partner L. is a 37-year-old woman who is independent, generous, financially stable, responsible, thoughtful and intelligent, and is looking forward to being a supportive "aunt".

Co-parenting is a unique arrangement, presenting its own challenges. I'm looking forward to working together to provide our child with a large and loving extended family.

I can be reached at: coparent@rcn.com.

I'm looking forward to speaking with you.

[Posted on 12 January 2006]

Gay Male Seeking Female For Co-Parenting

Hi,

I am 40, Latin/White, 5'9", attractive, healthy, no family illnesses, with good personality traits who wants to be a good father/parent. I am seeking a female with the same interest to become a mother/parent, who is open-minded to share responsibilities for a child or children. Someone willing to get to know me so we can connect with each other. I am a responsible person who is taking this very seriously. I was raised in a happy family environment and can share good family values. I have supportive family and friends. Please respond with questions/interest at coparentla@aol.com.

[Posted on 9 January 2006]

Open to Using Artificial Insemination for Women Seeking a Baby, Preferably Lesbian

My wife and I have had a gorgeous little girl. But she has had previous children from relationship other than ours. I have always wanted to have 2 children. I don't mind just being a donor if you need a child I would help you out no strings attached. I have a super healthy background and if you saw my little girl - she's a doll. My wife has said no to another but does not mind if someone else has one artificially. Some contact would be great and to see pics of him or her growing up. I'm an attractive male and in good health in my twenties. Let me know what you think. Email: hottred@comcast.net.

[Posted on 8 November 2005]

Seeking a Lesbian/Lesbian Couple to Explore Donor/Co-Parenting Options

I am a 32-year-old gay male in a long term relationship with a wonderful guy for the past 5 years, living in SF bay area. I am looking for lesbian/lesbian couple to explore donor/co-parenting opportunities in California.

I have always wanted to have a child (children) of my own. The child does not necessarily need to live with me. I would still like to be an important part of the child's life. I feel that it is important for the child to know the father and have a good relationship with him, as honestly, I did not have a good relationship with both of my parents due to circumstances. I would want to visit and hang out with the child (children) regularly for events such as birthday, graduation, soccer practice etc, if my schedule and your schedule allow for that. You and your partner of course will be the legal guardians for the child. I would like to remain somewhat involved in the child's life and would appreciate the chance to babysit or for him/her to visit (if you feel comfortable). Again anything from an uncle-type relationship to co-parenting is negotiable. I am looking for the right person to have a child with to bring joy and happiness to both of our families.

I am a professional working in the SF Bay Area. I am very healthy, drug free, disease free, and HIV negative. My parents are both very healthy. There is no mental disorder, genetic diseases or hereditary defects known in my family history. My grandparents died well into their eighties of cancer/old age. As a matter of fact, my cholesterol level is stellar (less than 90). My IQ is above 140.

I graduated with Honors for my Bachelors. And I have a master's degree in Engineering. Also I am going to school at night learning Spanish. I hope to be fluent in Spanish one day. Ethnically I am mostly Asian (part white). I speak Chinese and English fluently.

Hope to hear from you soon. My email address is calif_daddy_to_be@hotmail.com.

Jack

[Posted on 31 August 2005]

Make Our Dreams Come True

We are Jenny and Becky. That's how everyone knows us. We've been together through thick and thin and everyone who knows us knows we will be together forever. Our life is perfect. Or is it? We have a dream. We dream of a little one in our life. You can help us. We want to have a baby. Plain and simple. No coparenting. No attachments. No paperwork. Just sperm in a cup and you can make our dreams come true. We want to be the only parents because we know we are ready. Thank You.

only1yearleft@yahoo.com.

[Posted on 13 August 2005]

I Have Spent All My Life Wanting to be a Father

Hi, my name is Jeff, and I have spent my life watching my brothers and sisters have children, and now their children are having children. I have a lot to be thankful in my life. I am not rich but I am not poor either. I believe I could be a great dad and a great role model. I have had the same partner for 13 years. and I am looking for someone special to share a gift of life and to share a family life with. I would want joint custody of the child and of course share the cost of raising that child. Please feel free to email me at maryfk65@comcast.net. I turn 40 this year and if I am going to do this I would like for it to be soon. Thanks for your time......

[Posted on 29 July 2005]

Lesbian Couple Seeking Sperm Donor (Native American preferred but not required)

We are a young, loving lesbian couple seeking a sperm donor. We know finding "the perfect" donor is difficult so we tried to sum up the requirements for any sperm donor we come in contact with. The qualities/ requirements we seek are:

1. intelligent (w/ musical ability is a plus)
2. Native American. Card carrying preferred
3. No mental illness in immediate family (mainly Schizophrenia or multiple personality disorder)
4. willing to give up all paternal rights

This may make us seem picky, but really we aren't. A Native American donor would be awesome, but we know this is nearly impossible. One of us is a card-carrying Native American, and we'd love to carry on the Native blood. If this cannot happen, however, we will not be disappointed. So, even if you aren't a Native American, please still contact us. We just want a healthy, happy baby!

Of course, we will pay all expenses (doctor, travel, etc.)

Please contact us at shann0n747@aol.com.

Thanks,
Shannon and Lisa

[Posted on 8 June 2005]

Looking for Woman/Women to Co-Parent

Are you interested in co-parenting a child (or two!) in the San Francisco Bay Area? I am a gentle, nurturing, 42-year-old male prospective co-parent. I've been doing part-time childcare for friends and participating in parenting groups and activities for at least ten years. Sharing parenting responsibilities would give the child a number of influences to learn and draw support from, as well as creating a nurturing environment for the whole family. I love diversity and healthy living. I am educated and my family supports my childraising plans. I live in the Bernal Heights neighborhood and prefer an arrangement where all parents live close by. I am single, but expect to be involved in a primary partnership with a wonderful person at some point. (I have had long-term relationships in the past.) I have evolved my career to permit direct involvement in childraising while remaining financially responsible. If you or a friend might be interested, please contact Will at wild@willdoherty.org.

[Updated on 7 June 2005]

Gay Single Male Looking to Become a Father

Hi, I am a 39 year old gay male looking to become a father. I would ideally like to have complete parental rights, but am open to the possibility of sharing some of the parenting with the mother. I have always wanted to be a father since I was first an adult, but only now feel truly ready to be able to give the time and energy I feel is necessary to raise a happy and healthy child.

I am 6'1", 180lbs, with light brown hair and hazel colored eyes. I am extremely physically fit and have been a vegetarian for over 20 years. I am very artistically minded, but very mathematically inclined as well. I have attended college off and on but never finished my degree. (it's very hard to pick a major when you are equally left and right brained, at least that has been my excuse : ) ) I would definately describe myself as more of a street smart type person, but with the brains to be booksmart, if that makes sense.

Anyway, most importantly I am filled with love that I want to share with a child and hopefully with a mate in the future, but not wanting to wait any longer to find someone before I become a parent. I have a great family that would love to welcome a new member, and I have many incredible friends that I know will offer amazing support and be great "uncles" and "aunts".

I have worked the last five years in real estate and investing and have been fortunate enough to make enough money to be able to purchase a great home and have the ability to not work and be a stay at home dad.

I am open to any race and religious background. I am also more than willing to provide compensation, and support durring the pregnancy. I would prefer a taller female, but not necessarily important, and attractive with a fit body.

If anyone is interested it would be great to hear from you, my email address is below. Thanks for taking the time to read my ad.

Sincerey,
Jeff
JeffStoneHomes@aol.com

[Posted on 1 May 2005]

Loving Same Sex Couple needs Gestational Carrier from California

T & D are loving male same sex couple from the east coast. They are seeking a caring and committed GS from California to help their dreams of becoming parents come true. Their ideal surrogate will be open to carrying twins/triplets as well as to abortion if medically indicated. They are anxious to get started immediately and would like to be very active in the pregnancy/delivery.

Parenthood Options requires our surrogate angels to be emotionally and physically healthy, to not be receiving public assistance and to have full family support. You need to have a good pregnancy and delivery history and be committed to the process. A background check is conducted on all potential surrogates as well as intended parents. We offer a nice compensation package, 24/7 support and a commitment to YOU during this family building process. If you think you may be T & Ds angel, please contact Stacy at Info@parenthoodoptions.com or visit the website http://www.parenthoodoptions.com.

[Posted on 11 April 2005]

Hoping to Help Create a Family

Hi,

My name is Kelly and I am a first time GSurrogate. I have three beautiful boys of my own and would love to help another loving couple create their own family. My husband and I have been together for 13 years now and he is 100% supportive . All three of my pregnancies were uncomplicated vaginal births. I am looking forwrd to sharing the WHOLE beatiful experience every step of the way with my Intended Parents. I am 5'7", 140 and like to consider myself very healthy when I'm pregnant. I don't smoke, or drink and just received medical insurance and am more than ready to get started!!

Email: kmlino@cox.net.

[Posted on 6 March 2005]

Surrogate Mother Needed

Hi, I need some help starting my family. I am a single man looking to be a single parent.. for now anyway. We can negotiate the fee and living arrangements if needed. I work as a Family Nurse Practitioner, 34 years old, and have BIG heart and open arms and looking to share that gift with a special child.

There have been long ads and long stories... mine is not. I just love kids and would like to share my life and security.

Thanks for your help,
Dave

Email: odave@charter.net

[Posted on 27 February 2005]

LA Lesbos Seek Good Guy or Couple for Co-parent Dad(s)

City: Los Angeles

We're a lesbian couple living in Los Angeles. I'm 40 and want to have a kid, my partner's 35 and may want to also somewhere down the line (with same dad ideally).

We're looking for an all around good guy to be involved in the process.

It would be great if you lived close by, but if not, maybe we can work something out.

Here is a laundry list of things we'd like (some are probably negotiable... so don't be afraid to ask if you fit most but not all)

• Financially secure
• Close to his family
• No family history of sexual/physical abuse
• Nothing too glaring in the gene-pool in terms of illness or mental illness
• Good judgment -- like about men & friends -- i.e., wouldn't bring any weirdoes around the kid
• An overall decent, trustworthy guy who has a decent-sized sense of humor about life
• Not into bar scene
• Willing to contribute financially, like maybe in terms of private schools if we both live in crappy school districts and college in the future

Some bonus points would be:

• You're into math or science (good to mix up the genes a bit)
• You've had at least a couple long-term relationships in your life
• You're athletic and/or outdoorsy

As for us: I teach and am into the arts. My partner is a journalist. E-mail us at dad_2_bee@yahoo.com if any of this sounds like a fit.

[Posted on 20 February 2005]